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{Funny} Hilarious Christmas Quotes and Sayings with Pictures

Christmas is a fantastic holiday. Find here Hilarious Christmas Quotes and Sayings with Pictures share with family, kids, love ones.

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Hilarious Christmas Quotes and Sayings

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.” Anonymous

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller

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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.” – Jay Leno

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.” – Anonymous

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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.” – Anonymous

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.” – Tom Sims

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
Bernard Manning

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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.”
Anonymous

“Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.” – John Cleese, “Mony Python”

“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” – Erma Bombeck

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“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” – Joan Rivers

“There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.” – P.J. O’Rourke

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde

Hilarious Christmas Quotes and Sayings with Pictures

“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” – Johnny Carson

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”

Shirley Temple “Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.”

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Dave Barry “The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” – Johnny Carson

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