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Christmas Jokes – Merry Christmas Funny Quotes, Messages, Wishes

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Merry Christmas Funny Quotes

Christmas Funny Jokes

How do snowmen greet each other?
Answer: Ice to meet you!
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
Answer: “A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year!”
Why the Christmas tree can’t stand up?
Answer: It doesn’t have legs.
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Santa: “So little girl, what would you like for Christmas?”Girl: “I want a Barbie Doll and a G.I. Joe.”

-Knock knock
*Who’s there?
*Mary who?
-Merry Christmas
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He flicked it on.
“It represents a candle,” he said. “You may pass through the pearly gates,”
Saint Peter said.
What’s the difference between a biscuit and a reindeer?
You can’t dunk a reindeer in your tea
On the following evening the young man knocked his colleagues door and found him pacing up and down the hallway in an impatient manner.
“The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk.
This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.”
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online.
But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I’m doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience.
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas one has no L |
“I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
While I’m dreaming, I wish you weren’t so damn ugly.”
What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum – you can’t beat it!
Christmas shopping is awesome,
Only when it is for you.?
Christmas is one day when girls get to kiss boys To wish them without being called a slut.
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel,
wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer


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