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Christmas Cracker Jokes for Adults
- Mike walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The barmaid looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.’Tiny’, answers Mike.
‘Why’s that?’ enquires the barmaid.
‘Because he’s my newt’ concludes Mike.
- Christmas Pudding Notice
Silver Christmas charms bring you good fortune. Silver Christmas charms bring you good fortune.
Potential choking hazard: do not use with food.
- I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller
said, ‘Euro star.’ I said, ‘Well I’ve been
on telly but I’m no Johnny Depp.’
- Q – What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
A – Jungle Bells, Jungle bells!Q – Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
A – They both drop their needles!Q – What’s Christmas called in England?
A – Yule Britannia!
Q – What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
A – Thanks, I’ll never part with it!
Q – Why is a burning candle like being thirsty?
A – Because a little water ends both of them!
Q – What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A – A pineapple!
Q – What do you give a train driver for Christmas?
A – Platform shoes!
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- Your hen night will go with a ‘Bang’ with this selection of naughty crackers! You could consider these your “50 Shades” of Christmas! As well as hen parties they